Bell Bottom Trousers

Once there was a waitress
In the Prince George Hotel,
Her mistress was a lady
And her master was a swell.
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2. They knew she was a simple girl
And lately from the farm.
And so they watched her carefully
To keep her from all harm.
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3. The Forty Second Fusiliers
Came marching into town.
And with them came a complement
Of rapists of reknown.
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4. They busted every maidenhead
That came within their spell.
But they never made the waitress
From the Prince George Hotel.
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5. Next came a company
Of the Prince of Wales' Hussars
They piled into the whore house
And they packed along the bars.
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6. Many a maid and mistress
And wife before them fell.
But they never made the waitress
From the Prince George Hotel.
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7. One day there came a sailor.
Just an ordinary bloke.
A-bulging at the trousers.
With a heart of solid oak.
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9. He asked her for a candlestick
To light his way to bed.
He asked her for a pillow
To rest his weary head.
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10. And speaking to her gently.
Just as if he meant no harm.
He asked her if she'd come to bed
Just so's to keep him warm.
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11. She lifted up the blanket
And a moment there did lie.
He was on her; he was in her
In the twinkling of an eye.
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12. He was out again, and in again,
And plowing up a storm.
And the only words she said to him:
"I hope you're keeping warm."
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13. Then early in the morning
The sailor he arose
Saying here's a two pound note.
My dear, for the damage I have done.
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14. If you have a daughter,
Bounce her on your knee.
If you have a son,
Send the bastard out to sea.
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2. The Forty Second Fusiliers come marchin' in to town
And with them come a compliment of rapists of renown
They converted every virgin that came within their spell
But they never made the waitress from the Prince George Hotel.
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3. Next come a company of the Prince of Wales Hussars
The piled into the whorehouse and they packed along the bars
Manys a maid and mistress and a wife before them fell
But they never made the waitress from the Prince George Hotel.
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4. One day there came a sailor, an ordinary bloke
A-bulging at the trousers with a heart of solid oak
At sea without a woman for seven years or more
There wasn't any need to ask what he's a-lookin' for,
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5. He asked her for a candlestick to light his way to bed
He asked for a pillow to rest his weary head
And speaking very gently just as if he meant no harm
He asked her if she'd come to bed just so to keep him warm.
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6. She lifted up the blanket and moment there did lie
He was on her, he was in her, in the twinkling of an eye
He was out again and in again and ploughing up a storm
But the only word she said to him, I hope you're keepin' warm!
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7. Early in the morning the sailor lad arose
Saying, Here's a two pound note, my dear, for the damage I have caused
If you have a daughter, bounce 'er on your knee;
If you have a son, send the bastard out to sea!
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8. Now she sits beside the dock, a baby on her knee
Waiting for the sailing ships a-comin' home from sea
Waiting for the jolly tars in navy uniforms
And all she wants to do, my boys, is keep the Navy warm!
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