I used to be a sailor, I sailed upon the sea,
And when I was at home my wife was very good to me,
But I commenced to worry and to wonder what she'd do,
When I was off a-sailing out upon the ocean blue.
What if I popped out and I caught her unawares,
Popped out sudden from the cupboard in the stairs,
Popped out, popped up, and took her by surprise,
Sometimes me boys it's better to be ignorant than wise.
2. I kissed me wife goodbye and told her I was bound to sail
Upon a Yankee whaling ship they called the Horse's Tail,
I told 'er I'd return again in six months or a year,
Then I hid meself beneath the stairs to see what should appear.
If I popped out and I caught her unawares,
Popped out sudden from the cupboard in the stairs,
Popped out, popped up, popped aloft to see
If my little wife was mis'rable and lonely without me.
3. Well, first there came the cabin boy, and then there came the cook,
She had 'em by appointment in a red appointment book,
The bo'sun piped himself aboard, and played a merry tune,
And last there came the captain with his bloody great harpoon.
Then I popped out and I caught 'em unawares,
Popped out sudden from the cupboard in the stairs,
Popped out, popped up, and popped 'em out the door,
And I vowed an oath I never would go sailing any more.
4. Now let this be a warning to all you jolly tars
Who leave your wives at home to go off sailing near and far.
Meself, I'm a greengrocer now, me flat's above me shop,
And any time I have the chance it's up the stairs I pop,
Yes I pop up and I catch her unawares,
I pop her in the parlor and I pop her on the stairs,
Pop in, pop out, and pop back to the till,
And you can take your bloody sailing ships, and pop 'em where you will.
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